Tuesday, April 24, 2012

another interview with former Hokie Jeff Allen

One of my all-time favoritest posts I've ever done on this blog was a mock-interview with one of my all-time favoritest players, Jeff Allen of Hokie basketball.  I was very disappointed when Allen's eligibility finally ran out, because his temper and foul-proneitude made him probably the best player in the whole ACC in any sport for humor material.**

I should have known better.  We're not done yet with our boy Jeff.  Seth Greenberg's firing yesterday gave him the perfect platform to express his opinion, and what do you know, here's the man himself walking through the doors of the FOV offices for another interview.  What a guy.

FOV: Jeff!  Pleasure to see you again.  I assume you've heard the news swirling around your old program the past 24 hours.

JA: Man I wish I was at tech 4 this news don't want to get my hopes up but if it's wat I this it is shuda happen a long time ago

FOV: So I guess it's true that you were never really much of a Seth Greenberg fan.

JA: Naw

FOV: Happy to hear he got fired, then?

JA: I not happy he lost his job he can go to anova school just wish he wasnt there wen I was

FOV: You could've transferred if you didn't like him.  I don't think anyone even knew you had a problem with Coach Greenberg til today.

JA: didn't show them just held it in

FOV: But why not make your displeasure known when it would've done you some good?  After all you certainly never had any problem showing your displeasure to, say, Maryland fans.

JA: Its aleays diff from the outside lookn in

FOV: If you say so.  So you say this should've happened a while ago.  If it were up to you, when would you have made the call to fire Coach Greenberg?

JA: u don't know how long I was waitn 4 this not to dog him out but we all know ways best just look at the last 5 seasons

FOV: Do you mean "we always know best"?

JA: maybe

FOV: Eloquence, thy name is Jeff.  So sometime in the last five seasons, that's when you'd've gotten rid of Coach Greenberg?

JA: yea too long if u ask me .. No way in the world as talented as our team was we don't make it to the NCAA in 4 yrs

FOV: That's a little disingenuous if you ask me.  I doubt Greenberg was telling you to foul out of every game you played.  You players had a lot more say in getting there than Greenberg did.  Although he did seem to agree with you, at least every day after Selection Sunday.

JA: Well got damn

FOV: Yeah, he was up there battling for you guys and everything.  It was hard to miss.  What do you have to say about that?

JA: I'm done said wat I had to say..still a Hokie at the end of the day

FOV: The consummate Hokie as always.  As ever, thanks for your time, Jeff.  Door's on the right.  And don't forget, readers, that later today will be our profile (but sadly, no interview) of an actual power forward that won't foul out of every other game, hoist up ill-advised three-pointers, and badmouth the coach.

Postscript: Jeff Allen is currently playing basketball in the B division of the French pro leagues, an ironic destination for a Hokie considering their nickname for UVA.  And yes, he still fouls way too often, turns the ball over three times a game, and is 5-21 in shooting three-pointers.

**I ought to start a hall of fame.  We could have Allen for averaging something like 15 fouls per 40 minutes, Tomo Delp of Maryland baseball for always swinging his bat like a helicopter, Tyree Watkins for being a loudmouthed POS and going out in flaming glory....any more ideas?


Anonymous said...

i've never said this so confidently to a stranger man before, but i love you

Anonymous said...

He is a punk and a loser