Tuesday, October 13, 2009

ACC Roundtable #whatever

Nobody bothered to keep track of which one this is in the sequence and I'm too lazy to go back and look through my own archives to find out. You don't even want to know what week the Hokie bloggers think it is; let's just say it's another check in the box for Rule 34 of the Internet.

Anyway, it must be time for another ACC Roundtable, and this one's hosted by Jim Young at the ACC Sports Journal.

1) Most of the ACC has now reached the halfway point of its season. On a scale of 1 (I’m rounding up pitchforks, torches and a mob to storm the football office) to 10 (I’m selling of organs to raise money for a statue of the coach) how do you feel about your team’s performance thus far?

How the hell am I supposed to know? The last time this question was asked, we were 0-3 with a loss to a I-AA squad and I posted a picture of a vomiting pumpkin. Since then we've knocked off Carolina in Carolina and bent Indiana over a bar. The first-team defense has, in seven quarters of action, allowed one field goal. This after offering up 30 points to TCU and 37 to Southern Miss. I'm punting this question. Answer: i. Go look that one up in your Algebra II books.

2) Give me the best case scenario for your team the rest of the way. Then give me the worst case.

10-3, or 2-10. Both are hovering in the crystal ball right now. Taunting me. I will tell you what though: if you offer me 7-5, or to roll the dice and take my chances, I'll take the 7-5.

3) Because it’s my turn to host the roundtable and I like fantasy football, I’m going to ask a few questions with that theme. First,you’re in an ACC keeper league. Which three players on your team do you designate as keepers for next season? (Obviously this rules out seniors, except for Riley Skinner, who I assume has six more years of eligibility remaining.)

First off you are correct about Riley Skinner. The first time I saw Wake Forest play at Scott, it was 2001, they beat us, and I left the stadium cursing his name for throwing multiple touchdown passes. He was a redshirt junior at the time.

So I can only keep three players and roll the dice with everything else? Huh. I'll go with all defense: Ras-I Dowling, Steve Greer, and Matt Conrath. One at each of the three units (line, linebackers, secondary.)

4) Let’s do the reverse of this, with coaches. You’re forced to drop one member of your team’s coaching staff. Who gets the axe? (Head coaches or assistant coaches are eligible here.)

rrrrrgggghhhhh I hate doing this because I have way too much respect for the man, but the last two games don't erase the fact that the program is stagnating and needs a change at the top. Al Groh should be given a really nice watch or whatever's an appropriate going-away present, offered a cushy consulting-type position in the department, and informed that his input will be valued in the search for a new head coach.

5) Let’s say the rest of the ACC is available via free agency. Who’s the one player from the other 11 teams that you’d most like to add to your squad?

[Matt Millen]We need a wide receiver,[/Matt Millen] and the best one is at Georgia Tech. So I'm appropriating Demaryius Thomas.

6) Finally, we’ll stage a mock draft of ACC quarterbacks. Who are you taking with the first pick, and why? And who would you get stuck with if you had to pick No. 12?

I'll take Russell Wilson - he's like a better version of Jameel Sewell. And at #12? Well, if people overlook the fact that Clemson has played some pretty good defenses, I might end up with Kyle Parker, and that'd be OK with me because despite Parker's awful stats, Chris Turner is the worst starting quarterback in the conference. I'd prefer Parker and his potential keepability over Turner's blinding mediocrity (when he's on) as a senior.

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